In my column running Sunday, March 29, in The Gazette, I write about how Ted Haggard’s confidence appears to be returning, and Haggard himself says he is in a new phase in his life.

The Haggards on "Divorce Court"

Haggard, who resigned his senior pastor position at New Life Church in November 2006, after his affair with a male prostitute was revealed,  has gone through a number of phases over the last 28 months. 

FIRST: December 2006-November 2008. The Silent Phase

During this period, Haggard was exiled from the area by church leaders and not allowed to tell his story publicly. This resulted in some wild rumours being circulated about him, such as that he was starting a church in his basement. It also seemed to stoke anger toward him.

SECOND: December 2008-early January 2009. The Rebellious Phase

Haggard grows weary of not being able to tell his side of the story. He and the Rev. Brady Boyd, Haggard’s replacement at New Life, meet twice, in part to talk about lifting the agreement that Haggard would not talk publicly to the media.

THIRD: January 2009. The Public Penitent Phase

Free to talk to the media, Haggard with wife Gayle go on several national talk shows. Haggard repeatedly appolgizes for what he has done.  

“I did the interviews to communicate my repentance,” Haggard told me.

FOURTH: March 2009-  The Return

I write about this phase of Haggard’s life in my March 29 column in the Gazette. A rejuvenated Haggard talked to me this month about his upcoming speaking engagements at evangelical churches, possible book deals, the love he and Gayle have for each other, and what he’s learned during his walk through the valley of death.

He also addresses his apparent need to be in the limelight. Speaking of limelight, on Wednesday and Thursday, Ted and Gayle Haggard will be on Twentieth Television’s “Divorce Court,” which can be viewed locally at 11 a.m. on Fox’s KXRM TV. On the show the couple talk about how they held their marriage together during trying times.

Below are  edited excerpts of my sit-down interview with Haggard.

 MARK BARNA: Why did you agree to appear on “Divorce Court”?

TED HAGGARD: The Haggards have had two worst days. One, they raised a handicapped boy, and 80 percent of married people who have a handicapped child divorce. Then, of course, we went through my crisis. And through all that, today, me and my wife are happier than we’ve ever been. And all our children are in great relationship with us.

So the “Divorce Court” folks thought, What a perfect message. No matter what happens, if you make the right decisions, your marriage is going to make it.

BARNA: You asked Gayle to divorce you after your relationship with Mike Jones became public.

HAGGARD: I told Gayle, “I am toxic. I am poisonous, and you need to divorce me.” I told her, ”We probably are going to live in poverty the rest of our lives. And life could be difficult for you and our children. But if you divorce me, they will embrace you and they’ll embrace the kids. If you don’t, they are going to treat you and the kids like they are going to treat me.” She said, “I’m in.”

BARNA: Where are you now in your life?

HAGGARD: The story has moved forward.  We want to be able to say that the word of God has been faithful to us. We read the Bible every morning. That is our lifeline.

If people choose to judge me and not forgive me, that is justice and I accept that. If they choose to be grateful and kind, I am grateful.

Everybody needs a break at least once. And we can all give someone a break because we are all so plagued with our humanity. And sometimes our humanity shows up when we are high school students, mine didn’t. My humanity showed up when I was 50 years old. It couldn’t have been more embarassing, but the Gospel was still alive in me …

BARNA: Why did you go on “The Oprah Winfrey Show” and “Larry King Live” in January?

HAGGARD: I wanted to publicly take responsibility for what I had done.

BARNA: In “The Trials of Ted Haggard,” filmed in 2007, you are bitter toward New Life of how you say they treated you. What are your feelings now.

HAGGARD: [Haggard says he loves the people of New Life and regrets the hurt he's caused them. But he is still bitter about, according to him, being totally cut off from the church. He draws an analogy between how he and Gayle held their marriage together by working together, and how she didn't give up on him, in contrast to New Life's severing ties with him.]

Only in the most severe situations would you have to amputate a body part. And that is if a person is nonrepentent. In my letter to the congreation, I said I accepted responsibility. …

… You don’t reject one another. You don’t throw each other out. A healthy family is a microcosm of what the church should be.”

BARNA: Some say that you are a driver, a Type A person who craves the limelight.

HAGGARD: I am a responder. I am not a driver. I am not a high-powered control guy.

I never negotiated for a salary at New Life. I’ve never applied for a job until the health insurance job. I did not initiate anything with HBO or Oprah or Larry King. I am not calling to speak anywhere or calling publishers to write a book. I respond to people who contact me.

People assume because of my past success, and they will assume because of my future success, that I am a driver. That I plan these things like that. But here is what I do: I read my Bible and I pray. Doors open for me and I walk through them. That is all I’ve every done.