Melissa Fryrear, the longtime senior analyist on gender issues at Focus on the Family, resigned her position in April. A self-proclaimed ex-lesbian, Fryrear was a leader in Focus’ efforts to teach gay people to go straight.
Carrie Gordon Earll, Focus’ senior director of issues analysis, told me Friday that Fryrear resigned “to pursue speaking opportunities.”
Fryrear held a high-profile position at Focus. Part of her job was to talk to the media about Focus’ controversial stand on homosexuality.
Focus contends that people are not born gay but become gay due to factors in their lives. “Homosexuality is likely caused by a complex interaction of psycho-social, environmental and possibly biological factors,” Fryrear told me in March. “We hold to the developmental view.”
Fryrear, 43, often spoke at Christian events of her battle with same-sex attraction. According to Fryrear’s account posted on Exodus International, an organization in the U.S. dedicated to turning gay people straight, she was involved in gay relationships until the late 1980s, when she became interested in Christianity. But while studying the Bible, she learned
Melissa Fryrear
“I immediately involved myself in the support groups, one-on-one counseling, reading literature and resources and attending conferences,” she writes. “I began to learn the various factors that contributed to my same-gender attractions: my perceived rejection of my biological mother and father, my perception that my adoptive mother was distant and stoic and that my adoptive father was emotionally absent, sexual molestation, sexual experimentation, with both sexes, during my preteen years, understanding the schemes of the devil, and dozens and dozens of lies I believed about everything. I began to take responsibility for my own sinful beliefs, choices, and behaviors. Most importantly, though, I began to learn about the Holy Trinity and to form a relationship with each person.”
You can read her Exodus testimony here.
Fryrear was the director and often keynote speaker of Focus’ Love Won Out, a seminar held in various U.S. cities several times a year designed to help people overcome unwanted same-sex attraction. But budget constraints led Focus to drop the Love Won Out program, Focus spokesman Gary Schneeberger said in November. Love Won Out was then subsumed within Exodus International.
Fryrear is perhaps best known for what she said several years ago at a Love Won Out seminar in Birmingham, Ala. “Having talked with hundreds of homosexuals, I have never met one that had not been sexually violated in his or her life.”
Several times a year Exodus sponsors a mammoth seminar in various U.S. cities; its next is in June in Irvine, Calif. Exodus also sponsors dozens of workshops each year at U.S. churches.
In the past, Fryrear has spoken at Exodus events, but she is not listed as a speaker for the Irvine event. A spokeswoman at Exodus told me today that, to the best of her knowledge, Fryrear will not be speaking at any upcoming Exodus events.
Attempts to reach Fryrear at her east Colorado Springs home have been unsuccessful. Having learned of my attempts to contact Fryrear, Schneeberger told me Saturday that she won’t speak to me.
Has Fryrear had a change of heart toward faith-based reparative therapy, leading to her resignation?
A ministry colleague of Fryrears doesn’t believe that is the case.
Karen Keen, who operates an online site called Pursue God, writes on her blog that in conversations with Fryrear over the years she’s expressed a desire to “pursue other ministry opportunities not related to homosexuality.”
“I am happy she has moved on,” Keen writes. “Just because we have a homosexual background doesn’t mean we have to spend our lives being spokespersons on the issue. Who we are is so much more than that.”
Perhaps she has been getting a nice young lady to “lift her luggage”, too? Let me guess – They’re going to hire Rekers as her replacement because he demonstrates the validity of these programs.
may God Bless her as she stay ture to the faith.
sorrt TRUE to the faith
My guess is that she has fallen in love (with another woman) and, rather than live her life in the shadows, has decided to leave the hateful environment she found herself in.
I wish her many blessings as she moves forward with her life and separates herself entirely from this organization (FOTF) that has done irreparable harm to our GLBT community.
God bless, Ms. Fryrear.
MM
I commend Melissa for her willingness to honestly engage the opposition. My organization Citizens Project (www.citizensproject.org) supports equal rights and religious freedom for everyone. This means we oppose attempts to legislate religious morality, especially when it denies basic rights to others. We disagree with Focus’ and Melissa’s positions and rhetoric about homosexuality, but we genuinely appreciated Melissa’s willingness to talk to us and try to find common ground. Politics today could use more people like her, who can treat those with whom she disagrees with respect.
Barb, your “organization” is an embarrassment to our community and the weak minded people who follow you! And you are a disgrace to out country! You only agree with people’s rights to foul our communities with your immoral agenda, and common ground will NEVER be found with your people forcing homosexuality in all of it’s sickness upon everyone who disagrees with you. Homosexuality will never be acceptable. Just face the facts. You cannot force that on anyone!
I hope Focus on the Family has done great harm to the “GLBT” community! Everyone should stand up against the immorality being forced on our society from “orgs” like this!
Dear Bob, I think I will pray for YOU. That was one of the most hateful and despicable posts I’ve read in a long time. Jesus wept.
MM
Ooh! Total wacko here posing as a “MOM”?
Sorry, people and organizations like “Barb’s” is what is wrong with our country right now. The despicable thing is that they are allowed to even operate. I am also glad we rarely see gay people even in our community and not afraid to say so! The only time we seem to see them is when they are causing some sort of disruption of a family event or something.
Just a note to “Mom”, We do not HAVE a “GLBT community”. That is why homosexuality is called an “issue”. It is more a problem than anything else.
[...] Colorado Springs Gazette’s “The Pulpet” blog makes note of the news that Melissa Fryrear, the longtime “senior analyist on gender issues” at Focus On the [...]
Tony, as much as it might upset bigots like yourself, Tammy and Bob, we do have a GLBT community. The only problem is bigots, who think they have the right to impose their narrow-minded religious dogma on the rest of us. Unlike Tammy, I appreciate our First Amendment rights, so I don’t think they shouldn’t be allowed to operate- just exposed as the small minded bigots they are.
It’s too bad Melissa still stands by her claims that every gay person she’s ever met has been molested. As a gay person I find it unfortunate while at Focus she chose only paint gay people as “sexually broken” when who I am is so much more than that.
Being able to post anonymously really brings the bigots out from under their rocks, doesn’t it? If we had blogs during the Civil Rights struggle of the 1950s and 60s, can you imagine the kind of hateful stuff people like Tony, Tammy and Bob would have written?
Looks like someone called the “gay security” forces on this story! Funny how the word “bigot” was so prevalent in the last three posts. That is a key word from gay activists wanting to call names. Well if being against sin is being a “bigot”, please include myself along with most other people. The only way to make it to heaven is to accept Christ as your savior and repent. Just like anyone else with any form of sexual dysfunction, you need to stop doing the sin that you are condemning yourself with. The things T, T&B wrote above are not hateful in the least bit. They are trying to do what they (and I) know will save you from condemning yourselves forever because of your own actions. The real issue you all have is with God, not His followers. You will never make it in this world always trying to justify your sins while calling people childish names.
No, you do not have a “gay community”. You have a group of activist gay people who hate the fact that normal people will never accept homosexuality as even near normal.
Here I fixed it:
No, you do not have a “Christian community”. You have a group of activist Christians who hate the fact that non-Christian people will never accept Chrisitans as even near normal.